bigbert
the stick figure that guilt-trips you into getting fit.
meet bert. he lives in your phone. he tracks your workouts, gains XP, evolves when you show up, and shrinks when you don't. he will NOT let you skip leg day.
what it looks like inside
"i'm a stick figure in your phone. i can't force you to work out. but i CAN make you feel bad about not doing it. and honestly? that's more effective."
how it works
tell bert about yourself
quick onboarding. your goals, schedule, experience level. bert listens. bert judges. bert plans.
get a personalized plan
AI-generated workout plan tailored to you. bert didn't write it himself — he's a stick figure — but he asked someone smart.
show up. or don't.
complete workouts to earn XP and level up bert. skip them and... well. bert will have things to say. many things. at 8am.
watch bert evolve
from barelybert to gigabert. 12 levels. your consistency is literally his body. no pressure.
oh, and there's berta.
same guilt. same judgment. better hair. pick her during onboarding and she'll be the one disappointed in you instead.
same 12 levels. same evolution. same passive-aggressive notifications at 8am.
the evolution of bert (& berta)
your gains are their gains. literally.
what you're getting
personalized workouts
AI builds your plan around your goals, schedule, and equipment.
XP & leveling
earn XP every workout. level up bert. lose XP when you skip. bert remembers.
guilt-trip notifications
skip a workout and bert will find you. at 8am. and 9am. and 10am.
12 evolution stages
barelybert to gigabert. your consistency shapes him. literally.
"look. i can't do push-ups. i don't have elbows. but i can guilt you into doing them and honestly that's the same thing."
workout mode
every exercise comes with animated guides. bert can't demonstrate — no elbows — so he drew these instead.
ready to disappoint a stick figure?
download bigbert. start working out. or don't. bert will be waiting either way.